I am desperately needing some "from the trenches" advice on a couple of things going on in our house.
#1~Whining. Seriously if I don't find a solution for this my head is going to start spinning around and green stuff is going to come out of my mouth!! :) Ok just kidding but on the serious note this has become a MAJOR problem with Gracie. It seems like from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed every word out of her mouth is in some form of a whine. It makes my skin crawl because I can't understand what she wants and even though she knows how to talk like a big girl she chooses not to. I have tried standing her in the corner, sending her to her room, and even a spanking or two. I am just about at my whits end. I want her to feel safe talking to me, especially if there is something wrong, I just can't handle the constant whining.....HELP PLEASE!!!!!
#2~Sharing. I'm really not an idiot and knew that this would be a problem especially with the girls being so close, but I'm curious as to how other parents have handled this issue. Like most older kids Gracie thinks ALL of the toys are hers and doesn't want Carleigh playing with them. you can just about time it...Carleigh picks something up, starts to play with it, and about 3 seconds after Gracie has realized it she's trying to take it away. The bathtub is the worst because Gracie doesn't want to give Carleigh any of the toys. I know an easy solution to that would be to give them separate baths but is that really a solution? I want the girls to learn to play with each other and also develop healthy problem solving skills. So what have you done in your family, or what were some things your parents did, that helped siblings learn to share??
Oh and for those of you who know that we would like 4 children and are probably wondering if after this we still do, the answer is yes! I know you might think we're crazy but hey these are phases that we have to learn to get through, hopefully after the first 2 kids we'll have it somewhat figured out!! :)
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7 comments:
As far as the whining goes, I still struggle with that. I can't get my girls to stop and they are 8 and 4. With the toys, why don't you try toget a kitchen timer. When Carleigh has a toy and Gracie wants it, set the timer for 5 min. (or shorter/longer) and tell Gracie she can have the toy when the timer goes off. Usually by the time the timer goes off, the other child's done with the toy.! :)
Girl I feel for you, but I don't know of anything. Have you thought about going to Dr. James Dobson's website at wwww.family.org. They are the best for issues like these.
Also, wait until their 11. When Taylor is corrected on not putting his things away or making his bed he compromises. A little something like this. "Well I would have put it back but I'm going to play it again when I come home next week." That makes my head spin!
I have broke corey of this....this is what ya do...Ignore her. Tell her if she cant talk like a big girl mommy cant understand what she wants. Tell her mommy only understands words not whine. Its tough to ignore those little whines but trust me it works...yes you will see a tantrum but once its all over..she will talk like a big girl
Here's the deal...from someone with 4! Sharing...it's easy. The toy that's fought over, goes away! After a while, there are no toys to fight over and they'll learn to share! In the tub, we don't do any toys! They get their own cups and that's plenty of joy for both of them! Whining, we have a ping pong paddle. If the whining starts, I just have to say I'm going to get it. She objects and starts another whine BUT she is ready to listen to what I want her to do and does it without having to get paddled. Right now, these things are working for us!
I like the kitchen timer idea for sharing and use one myself for many things like, "you have five more minutes to play" or "when the timer goes off you can came out of your room".
I also take toys away if kids can't share (at church).
I also didn't have toys in the bath tub until recently.
Scientifically speaking, kids CAN'T share until starting around age two.
Whining. I told Hannah that if she couldn't whine, then don't talk at all. If she whined I would ignore her until she would talk in a normal voice. My mom read in a book that she has from when I was a kid, that kids are just whiny at this age.
No toys in the tub is a "given" around here. Can't do them.
Whining...doesn't get a response or what you want!!
Sharing...not an option. You have to, or else you don't play.
We do alot of alone time. Giving kids their space, even if it's for 20 minutes is important. Just because they're sisters doesn't mean they were born to like each other all the time!! Ha.
Even Will has alone time. He doesn't enjoy it at first, but I put up the gate and make sure he's safe playing. Usually no more than 20 minutes at his age. I've done this with all three, and it gives me time to think during the day. Call me crazy, but kids playing in their rooms quietly was something of a "job requirement"!!
Good luck!
Laura
Wow! Thanks for all of the advice I'm already starting to use a couple of them. I really like the kitchen timer deal and do use it occasionally for other things. And the whining, even though the first day I will probably lose my mind...ignoring it seems to be the hands down approach! Thanks again guys!!!
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